Friday, November 24, 2006

LEAH-CHAN @ 12:10 PM

Ok, I know that I have not done anything to make my blog nice. I was busy and I actually have absolutely no idea how to put everything in so...later I'll do something about it.

All rightey then! Let's get it started. The venting I mean.

My life sucks...Okay, maybe only in certain areas but whatever.

To all the 'ugly' girls out there (i'm not saying that you're ugly but if you think you are, welcome to the Low Self-Esteem Club), i think we've been through this one too many times. Been through what you ask me? Been through rejection time and time and time again. Why? Because we're not pretty enough.

There are so many bullshit out there by guys who keep on saying "I want to look for a girl who likes me for me, doesn't matter how she looks like". Well, that's BULLSHIT! When you guys look at us, you immediately go into hypocrite mode: "Ew! She's ugly! I'm not even going to give her a chance to speak to me, let alone date me!" And all this without knowing how her personality is like.

Ironic no? That I have no love life experiences yet my friends all come to me for love advices. Somehow, they work. Maybe it's because I'm a romance writer. Whatever. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I've had SO many friends who come crying to me because the guy that they like likes some other prettier, sexier girl! PIGS!

Why am I complaining? It's because I've HAD ENOUGH! I admit, partially it's because I've been rejected too. But yeah, it's mostly because of that. Isn't that what blogs are about? To vent about your life? Well, that's what I'm doing.

Okay, I like this guy. He's not all that hot but cute and he's also romantic, sweet and really smart. Apparently, he knows that I like him but thinks that I don't like him anymore. Then he says he likes someone else. That hurt. So I got all moody (which to all girls, DON'T act like that. You have NO RIGHT to act like that. He is NOT your boyfriend) and he got pissed 'cause no one would tell him what was wrong. Then my friend told him and he was like "Shit, I didn't know! I thought she didn't like me anymore."

So, now both him and I are like trying to push away all the awkwardness. But you see, it's so hard! To a certain extent. I mean, it still hurts. I don't get it. I've been rejected one too many times so I SHOULD be numb by now! But WHY? Why does it still hurt?

And y'know the FRIEND who told him? She's like making plans with him to go out together. They say that it's just friends only. But why does my heart say something else?

Today, they're supposed to go out and they DID ask me along. Maybe because I was just there and they don't want me to feel left out. Anyway, I called her today to double-check and she said that she has no idea about anything because she has to clean up her room and stuff. She asked, "You wanna come?" I just replied with "If you and him wanna hang out together alone, then i won't go." She apologised profusely and said " I really don't know." I merely replied "okay" and we hanged up.

I called him and he said that they're going out AFTER she cleaned up her room. I told him that if they don't want me along because they're afraid of my moodiness, then i'll back off. He said "anything" and told me to ask her. I told him that she sounded pissed so nevermind. I also told him, "Look, if she doesn't want me along, she can just tell it to me straight. I'm not going to kill her."

What am I to do? Why does these things happen to me? What am I to seriously do???

Profile

Name: Leah-chan

Schooling In: Nanyang Polytechnic

Course: Multimedia & Infocommunications Technology, School of Information Technology

Birthday: 21st December 1990

CCAs: Foreign Bodies, Voice Ensemble

Colour: Black, White, Red, Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, etc ^_^

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Singing, Acting, Dancing, Fashion

Music Influences: EVERYTHING but at the moment, JROCK/JPOP

I'm bi-polar i think.

One day, I'm happy and the next, I'm totally different.

Yahoo!: sweet_leah90@yahoo.com.sg

MSN: night_riot@hotmail.com

Livejournal: night-riot.livejournal.com

Likes

I love music. It is my whole life. I can't survive with it.
I hope to be able to play the drums or guitar (electric) [that's once i have enough money to buy one].

I'm currently into Japanese music, and I love mixing their fashion with my own taste! ^_^

My new love is dancing, alongside singing, acting, writing romance fiction and creating fashion styles.
It allows me to express myself when I can't.
It relieves me from my stress.
Overall, I love dancing - I just need to get a confidence for it.

Hanging out with friends is another plus in my life. Friends, to me, equals to loyalty and honesty.

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Credits

karen deviantART photobucket blogskins Melissa Haslam Joanne