Wednesday, December 26, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 12:58 AM

Mood: Sad
Music: Never Again by KAT-TUN

Hey people!

It is officially 1:00AM on the day after Christmas which means...ORCHARD ROAD IS OPEN AGAIN! Lolz

This year's Christmas is tad bit disappointing for me, I have to admit. This year, my grandmum isn't around because of a church convention in M'sia and family there. Since my grandmum is the one who usually organises the whole Christmas Family Dinner and she's not here, there isn't.

Honestly, I'm very sad because the one time in the whole year that I get to see my whole family and I can't. Though I'm used to my mum or dad not being around (mum's usually working hard and doing over-time at work and dad's...well...my parents are divorced...you do the math), Christmas is the only time both are around.

I didn't get to see my dad this year. Even though I sometimes say I won't forgive him for the mistake he made millions of times, I still love him. And I miss him. I still do blame myself for what has happened to my family. I can't help it, I guess. Damn hahaz *sniffs* I should be used to this already but here I am, typing and crying at the same time! It's just that...I don't even have any evidence of the whole family I once had...Not even a picture...Haiz...I'm such a baby Hahaz......

Today, or rather, yesterday, we (as in my brother, my aunt and myself) went to my aunt's friend's house in the afternoon for lunch. It wasn't much but we were invited because there wasn't a family dinner...How kind of them...=)

Then, my mum arrived from the house in Macpherson (she's living there alone) and we hanged around for a while before going off. My aunt stayed behind to play majong (hahaz). My brother went off to bowl with his friends (and he isn't back yet - Note: It is 1:09AM right now). My mum went to her boss's place at Bugis (she invited my mum because once again, no family dinner).

That was it. No family bonding. Nothing. We came, we saw, we chatted, and we were separated. Sad, isn't it?

I remember when the night before all of us would sit in the living room to talk, Christmas songs playing in the back and the Christmas tree lighted up beautifully (there isn't any tree this year too). Then my mum would send my bro and I up to bed early when we were younger while she and my dad would stay up.

My dad would watch his TV (typical =.= Lolz) and my mum would do last minute present wrapping. My bro and I would sneak and peek from the top of the stairs. As we grew older, the cat was out of the bag (no Santa T.T lolz) and we began helping my mum with the present wrapping (except our own, of course).

On Christmas morning, both kids would rush out of bed and run downstairs, begging to open the presents. Some Christmas mornings, my brother and I would wake up earlier and try our very best to cook breakfast. We weren't all that bad. One Christmas was surprising because my DAD was the one who had cooked breakfast - which arrived and filled the WHOLE dining table. ^_^

*sighs* Mah, times have changed, ne? I really want the past again. Or at least, a better present. Not one of separation and isolation. Honestly, this is one of my worst Christmas Days. It was a little better due to the multiple text messages I received from my friends. Arigatou minna-san!

Good thing is that...I have stopped crying! I most probably will start again but later ^_^ Wow, it kinda felt good since I haven't cried that much since...well...quite some time...As the onee-chan (older sister), I have to be strong for my otoutou (younger brother), ne?

Damn, it started again...Just found out that my brother is staying over at his friend's house. See what I mean? Separation. Mum is living somewhere else. No idea where Dad is. Bro isn't around. I guess I'll be alone tonight...Not that I haven't been alone before Lolz

Nevermind, I'll get over it. But before I go, I wanna write this poem I thought of first. It's in French. So if you can translate it, then you'll understand =)

Séparation.
Solitude.
N'est-elle pas ces partie et colis de la vie?
Les larmes ne devraient past jeté au-dessus de ceci.
Est-ce que mais pourquoi je ne peux pas l'aider?
Mon famille n'est pas autour.
Mais la meilleure chose?
Ils ne sont pas morts.
Ils sont juste...pas autour.
Je les veux en arriére.
Je veux mon dos de famille.
Ensemble.
Je manque ma famille.
Je vous manque des types.
Et je vous aimerai toujours des types.
...Svp ne pas me laisser...

Sorry if my French isn't so good. I wrote it in English, then translated it. Why? Because I'm weird like that Lolz =)

Mah, I'm leaving now.

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Oh yeah, NOTE TO V.E. MEMBERS: I might not be able to come on Thursday. Gomen nasai. Especially to Sheryl, Shi Pei, Winnie and Suee. Suee, your birthday present have to wait *bows*

Arigatou gozaimasu.

Monday, December 24, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 1:31 AM

Music: We Belong Together [Remix] by Mariah Carey feat. Jadakiss & Styles P
Mood: Contented

Hey people!

Today...uh, I mean, yesterday (seeing as it IS 1:33am already) I went out with my family (well, technically my mum, my bro and my aunt) ^_^ It's such a rare occasion since my mum doesn't actually live with me. She's living in the new one-room flat alone...I want to stay with her to keep her accompany but she says I can't since there isn't any hot water anyway. =( And besides, I have to keep my bro company =)

ANYWAY, we were SUPPOSED to go to Taka but my mum forgot to bring the voucher (she had received a $100 voucher or something like that for Taka). =.=" In the end, we went to Suntec City and hanged around. We went to eat first...guess where? *sing-song voice* SAKAE SUSHI!!!

Wahahahaha! I'm so happy since I rarely get to eat that. 1. My friends that I go out with are usually malay and THAT is so NOT halal. 2. I have no cash T.T

I'm so in love with Japanese food! It's very interesting ^_^ so we happily ate at Sakae Sushi. All of us had a cheerful, hearty, laughter-filled meal. It was very nice since we rarely do that anymore...>.<

Anyway, after that we went to Carrefour 'cause my mum needed to buy some items for the house. I took the opportunity to ask for some stuff too >.< Hehe...I got a new shampoo (L'oreal Elseve ^_^), a new compact powder (my old one is finishing), a cosmetic sharpener (for my pencil eyeliners), a new Silky Girl lipgloss (the brush one! ^_^) and a new coloured pencil eyeliner (it's PURPLE! So now I have black, dark brown, brown, blue, green and purple!!!).

We spent quite some time there since my mum had quite alot to buy, including with my aunt too. And y'know how women hang around the cosmetic area, trying out which is better. Yeah, I kinda pitied my brother but he didn't mind. He's used to having his female friends drag him around and sometimes he buys some too.

Only black nailpolish, topcoat, nailpolish remover and black eyeliner. Y'know for the rocker look since he is, after all, a hard-core rocker. But he hasn't been putting on make-up recently (maybe it's 'cause I'm hiding the makeup from him *winks*)

After that, we went to Hans to grab a snack and to sit down. We had to sort out the things we bought to a bag for my mum (since she's not living with us), my own stuff (so I can carry them) and my aunt's. There's always confusion if we put all our stuff together >.<

Anyway, we had a nice chat. Ooh! There was a nice guy that caught my eye. Surprisingly, he was Chinese but he had a little of a Japanese look which was HONTO NI KAWAII (really cute)! And he was dressed really nicely! Like Ne-Yo! Lolz, y'know the simple tee, a smart jacket over it, a pair of jeans and sneakers. Very nice! ^_^

Best thing? We matched! I was wearing a white tube top, a black button-up shirt over it (buttoned in the middle downwards), a white pleated knee-length pleated skirt and a pair of white pumps (my friend once thought that I was wearing a dress! Pretty cool, ne? I love matching my clothes to seem as if I have a bigger wardrobe but it's actually just mixing them around!) Lolz Maybe that was the reason why he kept looking at me. He must be thinking, "What the hell? I wear so nice and I end up matching with this kinda girl!" Lolz!!

But anyway, I didn't think too much or squeal so much about it. I was much more happier that I finally get to go out with my family! ^_^

All right then, I guess that's it! I'll check with you guys again!

Take care guys! Christmas is around the corner! About two days actually ^_^

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Saturday, December 22, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 10:26 PM

Music: Seishun Amigo by Shuuji to Akira [Kamenashi Kazuya & Yamashita Tomohira]
Mood: Emo

Hey people,

I had officially turned 17 yesterday! ^_^ It was nothing much. I just slept over at Izyani's place for two nights and had a small get-together with Lydia, Hanisah, Izyani and Jermaine, my younger brother.

Jermaine and I slept over yesterday but he felt really sick so I had to bring him home at 6 in the morning. I felt really bad for leaving so early in the morning, leaving only a note and a text message to Izyani's phone but it was my little brother we're talking about.

I called Izyani earlier and she sounded pissed. She said it was due to a fight she had with her mum who was bitching to her earlier but I still feel bad.

I'm feeling emo is not only because of that but because of no matter how much I try and try to like what others like, it still doesn't work. But liking what others like is like experiencing something new and in the end, it is exciting.

For example, I'm not a fan of the couple Akame but Izyani loves them. I'm slowly opening up to them but not as much but I can see why she likes them. It is rather interesting.

However, what I hate is people putting me down for things that I like before even knowing them. It is rather narrow-minded, ain't it? But it is a normal human reaction so I can't blame them but I hate it when they start scolding me or we get into a fight because of it. It reminds me of a fight that ended horrible with an ex-friend of mine (let's call her Toothpick because according to my brother, she is as stick-thin as one Lolz).

She would always put me down for everything that I do, not even bothering to understand why I do. She would say that my anime, manga or Japanese-related is so boring and is for people with no lives, etc. I hated it. She just knocked it down before even trying it! And she loves philosophy and all that lecture-worth stuff but I never once said anything about them. Somethings we would engage into a conversation about them but my knowledge isn't as wide as her (since it is her interest, after all) and she would put me down and call me stupid because of it.

Thus, it ended pretty badly after I broke off all ties with her. She was desperate to have something to put down and make her feel better about herself. Now that I am gone, she is asking everyone about me, trying to it seems as if she is the better person who wants to apologise first. But I honestly don't care anymore. I'm out of it and I'm a better, free-er person. =)

However, in life, there will be many put-downs. The worst is coming from your family and friends. Sometimes I scold Lydia but Lydia is used to it and will tell me if I get too far. Sometimes Izyani scolds me and that's where the problem comes in. I'm too afraid to tell her if it goes to far and hurts me. I'm afraid that it might break of the friendship that we have.

With Lydia, we went through five years. With Izyani, it is four years. This four or five years are the hardest years of my life and I am so glad to have them to help me go past the horrible experiences in my life. That is why I don't want it to fall apart.

To me, the song Seishun Amigo perfectly describes what friendship and how I feel towards them, especially Izyani is like:

[I'll put up the Kanji, Romaji and Translation of this song]

KANJI:
鳴り響いた　携帯電話　嫌な予感が　胸をよぎる
冷静になれよ　ミ・アミーゴ

情けないぜ　助けてくれ　例の奴等に　追われてるんだ
もうダメかもしれない　ミ・アミーゴ

2人を裂くように　電話が切れた

SI　俺達はいつでも2人で1つだった　地元じゃ負け知らず　そうだろ
SI　俺達は昔から　この街に憧れて　信じて生きてきた
なぜだろう　思いだした　景色は　旅立つ日の綺麗な空　抱きしめて

辿り着いた　暗い路地裏　しゃがみこんだ　あいつがいた
間に合わなかった　ごめんな

やられちまった　あの日交わした　例の約束　守れないけど
お前が来てくれて　嬉しいよ

震える手の平を　強く握った

SI　俺達はあの頃　辿り着いたこの街　全てが手に入る　気がした
SI　故郷を捨て去り　でかい夢を追いかけ　笑って生きてきた
これからも　変わることない　未来を2人で追いかけられると　夢見てた

SI　俺達はいつでも2人で1つだった　地元じゃ負け知らず　そうだろ
SI　俺達は昔から　この街に憧れて　信じて生きてきたなぜだろう　思いだした　景色は　旅立つ日の綺麗な空　抱きしめて

ROMAJI:
Nari hibiita keitai denwa iya na yokan ga mune wo yogiru
Reisei ni nare yo mi amiigo

Nasakenai ze tasukete kure rei no yatsura ni owareteru n da
Mou dame ka mo shirenai mi amiigo

Futari wo asku you ni denwa ga kireta

Si ore tachi wa itsu demo futari de hitotsu datta jimoto ja make shirazu sou daro
Si ore tachi wa mukashi kara kono machi ni akogarete shinjite ikite kita
Naze darou omoi dashita keshiki wa tabit datsu hi no kirei na sora dakishimete

Tadori tsuita kurai roji ura shagami konda aitsu ga ita
Ma ni awanakatta gomen na

Yararechimatta ano hi kawashita rei no yakusoku mamorenai kedo
Omae ga kite kurete ureshi yo

Furueru te no hira wotsuyoku nigitta

Si ore tachi wa ano koro tadori tsuita kono machi subete ga te ni hairu ki ga shita
Si furusato no sute sari dekai yume wo oikake waratte ikite kita
Kore kara mo kawaru koto nai mirai wo futari de oi kakerareru to yume miteta

Si ore tachi wa itsu demo futari de hitotsu datta jimoto ja make shirazu sou daro
Si ore tachi wa mukashi kara kono machi ni akogarete shinjite ikite kita
Naze darou omoi dashita keshiki wa tabi datsu hi no kirei na sora dakishimete

TRANSLATION:
My cellphone rings, and I get a bad feeling
Calm down, my friend

This is depressing, help me, I'm being chased by some guys
I think this might be it, my friend

The phone cuts off, as though tearing us apart

Yes, the two of us were always one, around here we never lose, isn't that right?
Yes, we've been attracted by this city since the old days, we lived believing in it
Why is it that I hold onto the scenery I remembered, which is the beautiful sky on the day that I left it

He was sitting in the dark alleyway that I arrived in
I was late, sorry

I got beat up, you couldn't uphold the promise that we made on that day
But I'm glad that you came

We tightly held the palms of each other's shaking hands

Yes, back then we thought that we had everything, in the city that we arrived at
Yes, we abandoned our hometown to follow our big dreams, we lived smiling about that
We dreamed that we were going to chase the future together, without anything changing from this point on

Yes, the two of us were always one, around here we never lose, isn't that right?
Yes, we've been attracted by this city since the old days, we lived believing in it
Why is it that I hold onto the scenery I remembered, which is the beautiful sky on the day that I left it

This is so true. I feel it. But I just am not one who would tell her feelings out to another just so easily. I would rather write it down. *sighs*

Anyone has any suggestions to help?

Well, I gotta go. I'll see you guys around! By the way, this above song is the only playing on my blog right now. =)

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 6:02 PM

Music: Wilds Of My Heart [Live Version from KAT-TUN Tour] by KAT-TUN
Mood: Tired Mentally

Hey people, this post is gonna be a VE December update. ^_^ There was supposed to be caroling today in school but I have acquired a fever of 38 degrees+ so I couldn't go. SORRY VE! >.<

This picture is somewhat explaining where we went yesterday. The actual place is actually a block away but it's still the same since it is an old folks' home.

This is a picture of the people we sang to. It was pretty cool. The feeling of seeing them so happy really could warm a person's heart. They were clapping along happily. It is nice to see them so happy! ^_^

Sheryl and me! Both of us decided to act 'nerd' with our glasses but to me, I think it's pretty cool! Lolz!

The first place we went to - Dover Park Hospice. It was pretty quiet (DUH!) but it was pretty cool to start singing for them. I really hope we made them happy. ^_^

Outside of the hospice! ^_^ We were all going towards the bus and Sheryl was taking this picture so I just turned around and posed! I'm such a cam-whore! Lolz!

Sleeping beauties...Okay, only Sheryl! Lolz

Reflections! From left to right: me, Shi Pei, Sheryl, Winnie, Emily and Li Fen (who wasn't posing at all XD)

During one of our VE Practices, Shi Pei, Sheryl and I - kissing! Lolz

Shi Pei, Winnie, Sheryl and me! Yonghong is peeking from behind! Lolz

QUIET! Lolz Waiting for the Committee Interview to start, me, Shavien and Sheryl!
The larger picture of what we were posing around above! ^_^

Mr Ong sleeping on the way on the bus! I think, soon, this picture will be circulated around VE.

During our December babies celebration! The december babies were me, Winnie and Suee! Yonghong's acting extra at the corner Lolz!

May our wishes and dreams come true! This picture looks a tad bit angelic Hahaz! The candles made it look so christmas-y (gomen, I'm in a Christmas mood!)

All of us posing! From left to right: Pingding, me, Winnie, Suee, Joey and YiTian! ^_^

I have to admit this: VE really does make an impact in my life. ^_^

Oh yes, December is a happy and sad month for me! SO MANY BIRTHDAYS! Lolz I gave Winnie a pair of earrings! I haven't given Suee hers yet since I didn't go today. On friday, I'm handing Hanisah and Rachael's over to them ^_^

I guess I have to wait until I can save more money then I can buy my KAT-TUN stuff! I REALLY WANT THEM >.< Lolz Tahan, Leandra, tahan...! Lolz

Alright then, I'm off to write my last one-shot of KAT-TUN - Nakamaru Yuichi! I've done Kamenashi Kazuya, Akanishi Jin, Taguchi Junnosuke, Tanaka Koki and Ueda Tatsuya! ^_^ I'll see ya guys soon!

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Sunday, December 16, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 3:59 PM

Mood: ...In Pain...>.<
Music: "Call Me, Beep Me" by Christy Carlson Romano

Hey people!

NEWS! <-- nice band by Johnny's Entertainment (Jap) Lolz

I mean, figuratively speaking...I FINALLY GOT MY NEW GLASSES! They look like the typical "emo" glasses 'cause I seriously thought they look really great on some people *cough*KAT-TUN MEMBERS, especially Ueda, Kame and Jin*cough* so I thought it would be nice to try them out.

I don't think I look THAT horrible with them on. I have to let some of my fringe down if not, I'll look REALLY uh...dorky? Lolz

*wails* I DON'T KNOW! Tell me how I look if you see me with them, ne? *bows* Arigatou gozaimasu! ^_^

This post is mainly about that *points to above* and the 'schedule' for this week.

Monday: Suee's Birthday
Rachael's Birthday [From Siglap Sec]
Voice Ensemble New Committee Interview
Voice Ensemble Practice
Tuesday: Caroling
Wednesday: Caroling
Hanisah's Birthday [From Siglap Sec]
Thursday: Sleepover At Izyani's
Friday: My Birthday

There might be a possibility to celebrate mine, Hanisah's and Rachael's birthday on friday. A small get-together at Izyani's place. We're gonna bake! ^_^ But it's a 'may-be' only.

Tuesday was actually meant for me to go to Snow City with Hanisah and Izyani but because of the caroling, I can't gooooooo!!! T.T I feel really bad because it's like I'm backing out of a promise. *sighs*

*drops to the floor and does the deepest bow* GOMEN NASAI IZYANI-SAMA AND HANISAH-SAMA!

Mah, that's all I guess. I've written three one-shots for the members of KAT-TUN. For Kamenashi Kazuya, Akanishi Jin and Taguchi Junnosuke. The best part of my first two one-shots is that I can alter it into a shounen-ai story for Izyani-sama. But I'll do it another time *grins sheepishly*

Alright then!

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Friday, December 07, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 2:53 PM

Music: Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift
Mood: Confused...Wanting to know the truth...

I seriously think that alot of mixed misunderstandings are going around. But I'm not quite sure myself since the person isn't VERY CLEAR in his writing. So this is an assumption (yes, I'm gonna be making an ASS-(outta)-U-(and)-ME [ASS-U-ME]).

Whatever that has been happening: I don't feel hurt nor any regrets. It's seriously nothing. Pain is just because of heartache. I'm getting over it. Yes, people (but Sheryl's on my side =X) will still talk but I. DON'T. CARE.

I'm just enjoying the fun that all of us are having.

I'm getting really curious too! Seriously, it will ease my mind alittle to know who the person is.

Also, I read once that sometimes in people's writing, you'd think that they're talking about you but you're actually "not the main focus in the writings".

So what if I'm wrong? I'm still a human being. I still can make mistakes. Like I said before, I know I'm gonna be making an ASS-U-ME. So nyah! *blows raspberry*

Okay, childish much? I know XD

ANYWAY, let people have their fun. They deserve it. After a long school day, they want to enjoy and let loose. Besides, IF I start breaking down and bawling my eyes out, THEN you can scold or whatever you wanna do.

If you happen to think that I'm crying secretly, (maybe I am =X) then DAIJOUBU! It's okay. Wait for me to complain then start!

Okay, I'm going out of hand and ranting already. Nevermind, I'm ending here now.

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Sunday, December 02, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 11:27 PM

Mood: Smile-y
Music: Make U Wet by KAT-TUN [Tanaka Koki]

December is here and I LOVE IT! It's my most favourite month of the year because well, it has my birthday and Christmas in them! In other parts of the world, people get to experience the season, winter (oh, how I would like to experience it too)! However, in Singapore, it's the rainy season T.T

Mah, looking on the brighter side of this: I LOVE DECEMBER!

And randomly: I LOVE KAT-TUN! Lolz

Yes, I'm pretty glad to have found this band since it has taken my mind off. Finally, I've realised my crushes were, indeed, infatuation. So I don't have to lament. Sure, feelings will come back but why dwell on something will not happen? Especially if the person won't like you ^_^

Don't worry people, I'm not sad. Chotto chotto only! DEMO SA! Daijoubu! I'm fine ^_^

I guess this is another thing of life that we can't escape: heartache. But we have to learn to forget and move on! Hehe...Having known and be absolutely crazy over KAT-TUN has helped in many ways since I don't have to lament about my problems Lolz

Not to mention, dozens and DOZENS of story plots are running through my mind and I really wanna write them all down but I have to sit down, catch one and start first. That's the hard part. XP

"I'll do it another time," is my favourite phrase but this time, I have more important things going on. EXAMS! *Jaws music playing in the background and thunder and lightning sounds and flashes* Lolz

Yup, I can't believe that I'm actually gonna have exams during DECEMBER! Mah, there's a first for everything! ;P AHHH...Shih Yann's birthday [2nd Dec] has passed already (exactly 27 minutes from when I'm writing this sentence) and there are still more to come.

Hmm...let's see...We have Winnie [5th Dec], Suee [17th Dec], Rachael [17th Dec], Hanisah (Siglap Sec) [19th Dec] and then finally, MINE [21st Dec]! I'm forever the youngest T.T Lolz but no matter! A birthday is still a birthday - a sign that you're getting older and in Tanaka Koki's words: "A year closer to death"

LOLZ!

The other members whacked him for being so negative! Lolz! *sighs dreamily* They're all so cute! Lolz

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

Sunday, December 02, 2007

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