Wednesday, December 26, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 12:58 AM

Mood: Sad
Music: Never Again by KAT-TUN

Hey people!

It is officially 1:00AM on the day after Christmas which means...ORCHARD ROAD IS OPEN AGAIN! Lolz

This year's Christmas is tad bit disappointing for me, I have to admit. This year, my grandmum isn't around because of a church convention in M'sia and family there. Since my grandmum is the one who usually organises the whole Christmas Family Dinner and she's not here, there isn't.

Honestly, I'm very sad because the one time in the whole year that I get to see my whole family and I can't. Though I'm used to my mum or dad not being around (mum's usually working hard and doing over-time at work and dad's...well...my parents are divorced...you do the math), Christmas is the only time both are around.

I didn't get to see my dad this year. Even though I sometimes say I won't forgive him for the mistake he made millions of times, I still love him. And I miss him. I still do blame myself for what has happened to my family. I can't help it, I guess. Damn hahaz *sniffs* I should be used to this already but here I am, typing and crying at the same time! It's just that...I don't even have any evidence of the whole family I once had...Not even a picture...Haiz...I'm such a baby Hahaz......

Today, or rather, yesterday, we (as in my brother, my aunt and myself) went to my aunt's friend's house in the afternoon for lunch. It wasn't much but we were invited because there wasn't a family dinner...How kind of them...=)

Then, my mum arrived from the house in Macpherson (she's living there alone) and we hanged around for a while before going off. My aunt stayed behind to play majong (hahaz). My brother went off to bowl with his friends (and he isn't back yet - Note: It is 1:09AM right now). My mum went to her boss's place at Bugis (she invited my mum because once again, no family dinner).

That was it. No family bonding. Nothing. We came, we saw, we chatted, and we were separated. Sad, isn't it?

I remember when the night before all of us would sit in the living room to talk, Christmas songs playing in the back and the Christmas tree lighted up beautifully (there isn't any tree this year too). Then my mum would send my bro and I up to bed early when we were younger while she and my dad would stay up.

My dad would watch his TV (typical =.= Lolz) and my mum would do last minute present wrapping. My bro and I would sneak and peek from the top of the stairs. As we grew older, the cat was out of the bag (no Santa T.T lolz) and we began helping my mum with the present wrapping (except our own, of course).

On Christmas morning, both kids would rush out of bed and run downstairs, begging to open the presents. Some Christmas mornings, my brother and I would wake up earlier and try our very best to cook breakfast. We weren't all that bad. One Christmas was surprising because my DAD was the one who had cooked breakfast - which arrived and filled the WHOLE dining table. ^_^

*sighs* Mah, times have changed, ne? I really want the past again. Or at least, a better present. Not one of separation and isolation. Honestly, this is one of my worst Christmas Days. It was a little better due to the multiple text messages I received from my friends. Arigatou minna-san!

Good thing is that...I have stopped crying! I most probably will start again but later ^_^ Wow, it kinda felt good since I haven't cried that much since...well...quite some time...As the onee-chan (older sister), I have to be strong for my otoutou (younger brother), ne?

Damn, it started again...Just found out that my brother is staying over at his friend's house. See what I mean? Separation. Mum is living somewhere else. No idea where Dad is. Bro isn't around. I guess I'll be alone tonight...Not that I haven't been alone before Lolz

Nevermind, I'll get over it. But before I go, I wanna write this poem I thought of first. It's in French. So if you can translate it, then you'll understand =)

Séparation.
Solitude.
N'est-elle pas ces partie et colis de la vie?
Les larmes ne devraient past jeté au-dessus de ceci.
Est-ce que mais pourquoi je ne peux pas l'aider?
Mon famille n'est pas autour.
Mais la meilleure chose?
Ils ne sont pas morts.
Ils sont juste...pas autour.
Je les veux en arriére.
Je veux mon dos de famille.
Ensemble.
Je manque ma famille.
Je vous manque des types.
Et je vous aimerai toujours des types.
...Svp ne pas me laisser...

Sorry if my French isn't so good. I wrote it in English, then translated it. Why? Because I'm weird like that Lolz =)

Mah, I'm leaving now.

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Oh yeah, NOTE TO V.E. MEMBERS: I might not be able to come on Thursday. Gomen nasai. Especially to Sheryl, Shi Pei, Winnie and Suee. Suee, your birthday present have to wait *bows*

Arigatou gozaimasu.

Profile

Name: Leah-chan

Schooling In: Nanyang Polytechnic

Course: Multimedia & Infocommunications Technology, School of Information Technology

Birthday: 21st December 1990

CCAs: Foreign Bodies, Voice Ensemble

Colour: Black, White, Red, Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, etc ^_^

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Singing, Acting, Dancing, Fashion

Music Influences: EVERYTHING but at the moment, JROCK/JPOP

I'm bi-polar i think.

One day, I'm happy and the next, I'm totally different.

Yahoo!: sweet_leah90@yahoo.com.sg

MSN: night_riot@hotmail.com

Livejournal: night-riot.livejournal.com

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I love music. It is my whole life. I can't survive with it.
I hope to be able to play the drums or guitar (electric) [that's once i have enough money to buy one].

I'm currently into Japanese music, and I love mixing their fashion with my own taste! ^_^

My new love is dancing, alongside singing, acting, writing romance fiction and creating fashion styles.
It allows me to express myself when I can't.
It relieves me from my stress.
Overall, I love dancing - I just need to get a confidence for it.

Hanging out with friends is another plus in my life. Friends, to me, equals to loyalty and honesty.

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karen deviantART photobucket blogskins Melissa Haslam Joanne