Saturday, December 22, 2007

LEAH-CHAN @ 10:26 PM

Music: Seishun Amigo by Shuuji to Akira [Kamenashi Kazuya & Yamashita Tomohira]
Mood: Emo

Hey people,

I had officially turned 17 yesterday! ^_^ It was nothing much. I just slept over at Izyani's place for two nights and had a small get-together with Lydia, Hanisah, Izyani and Jermaine, my younger brother.

Jermaine and I slept over yesterday but he felt really sick so I had to bring him home at 6 in the morning. I felt really bad for leaving so early in the morning, leaving only a note and a text message to Izyani's phone but it was my little brother we're talking about.

I called Izyani earlier and she sounded pissed. She said it was due to a fight she had with her mum who was bitching to her earlier but I still feel bad.

I'm feeling emo is not only because of that but because of no matter how much I try and try to like what others like, it still doesn't work. But liking what others like is like experiencing something new and in the end, it is exciting.

For example, I'm not a fan of the couple Akame but Izyani loves them. I'm slowly opening up to them but not as much but I can see why she likes them. It is rather interesting.

However, what I hate is people putting me down for things that I like before even knowing them. It is rather narrow-minded, ain't it? But it is a normal human reaction so I can't blame them but I hate it when they start scolding me or we get into a fight because of it. It reminds me of a fight that ended horrible with an ex-friend of mine (let's call her Toothpick because according to my brother, she is as stick-thin as one Lolz).

She would always put me down for everything that I do, not even bothering to understand why I do. She would say that my anime, manga or Japanese-related is so boring and is for people with no lives, etc. I hated it. She just knocked it down before even trying it! And she loves philosophy and all that lecture-worth stuff but I never once said anything about them. Somethings we would engage into a conversation about them but my knowledge isn't as wide as her (since it is her interest, after all) and she would put me down and call me stupid because of it.

Thus, it ended pretty badly after I broke off all ties with her. She was desperate to have something to put down and make her feel better about herself. Now that I am gone, she is asking everyone about me, trying to it seems as if she is the better person who wants to apologise first. But I honestly don't care anymore. I'm out of it and I'm a better, free-er person. =)

However, in life, there will be many put-downs. The worst is coming from your family and friends. Sometimes I scold Lydia but Lydia is used to it and will tell me if I get too far. Sometimes Izyani scolds me and that's where the problem comes in. I'm too afraid to tell her if it goes to far and hurts me. I'm afraid that it might break of the friendship that we have.

With Lydia, we went through five years. With Izyani, it is four years. This four or five years are the hardest years of my life and I am so glad to have them to help me go past the horrible experiences in my life. That is why I don't want it to fall apart.

To me, the song Seishun Amigo perfectly describes what friendship and how I feel towards them, especially Izyani is like:

[I'll put up the Kanji, Romaji and Translation of this song]

KANJI:
鳴り響いた　携帯電話　嫌な予感が　胸をよぎる
冷静になれよ　ミ・アミーゴ

情けないぜ　助けてくれ　例の奴等に　追われてるんだ
もうダメかもしれない　ミ・アミーゴ

2人を裂くように　電話が切れた

SI　俺達はいつでも2人で1つだった　地元じゃ負け知らず　そうだろ
SI　俺達は昔から　この街に憧れて　信じて生きてきた
なぜだろう　思いだした　景色は　旅立つ日の綺麗な空　抱きしめて

辿り着いた　暗い路地裏　しゃがみこんだ　あいつがいた
間に合わなかった　ごめんな

やられちまった　あの日交わした　例の約束　守れないけど
お前が来てくれて　嬉しいよ

震える手の平を　強く握った

SI　俺達はあの頃　辿り着いたこの街　全てが手に入る　気がした
SI　故郷を捨て去り　でかい夢を追いかけ　笑って生きてきた
これからも　変わることない　未来を2人で追いかけられると　夢見てた

SI　俺達はいつでも2人で1つだった　地元じゃ負け知らず　そうだろ
SI　俺達は昔から　この街に憧れて　信じて生きてきたなぜだろう　思いだした　景色は　旅立つ日の綺麗な空　抱きしめて

ROMAJI:
Nari hibiita keitai denwa iya na yokan ga mune wo yogiru
Reisei ni nare yo mi amiigo

Nasakenai ze tasukete kure rei no yatsura ni owareteru n da
Mou dame ka mo shirenai mi amiigo

Futari wo asku you ni denwa ga kireta

Si ore tachi wa itsu demo futari de hitotsu datta jimoto ja make shirazu sou daro
Si ore tachi wa mukashi kara kono machi ni akogarete shinjite ikite kita
Naze darou omoi dashita keshiki wa tabit datsu hi no kirei na sora dakishimete

Tadori tsuita kurai roji ura shagami konda aitsu ga ita
Ma ni awanakatta gomen na

Yararechimatta ano hi kawashita rei no yakusoku mamorenai kedo
Omae ga kite kurete ureshi yo

Furueru te no hira wotsuyoku nigitta

Si ore tachi wa ano koro tadori tsuita kono machi subete ga te ni hairu ki ga shita
Si furusato no sute sari dekai yume wo oikake waratte ikite kita
Kore kara mo kawaru koto nai mirai wo futari de oi kakerareru to yume miteta

Si ore tachi wa itsu demo futari de hitotsu datta jimoto ja make shirazu sou daro
Si ore tachi wa mukashi kara kono machi ni akogarete shinjite ikite kita
Naze darou omoi dashita keshiki wa tabi datsu hi no kirei na sora dakishimete

TRANSLATION:
My cellphone rings, and I get a bad feeling
Calm down, my friend

This is depressing, help me, I'm being chased by some guys
I think this might be it, my friend

The phone cuts off, as though tearing us apart

Yes, the two of us were always one, around here we never lose, isn't that right?
Yes, we've been attracted by this city since the old days, we lived believing in it
Why is it that I hold onto the scenery I remembered, which is the beautiful sky on the day that I left it

He was sitting in the dark alleyway that I arrived in
I was late, sorry

I got beat up, you couldn't uphold the promise that we made on that day
But I'm glad that you came

We tightly held the palms of each other's shaking hands

Yes, back then we thought that we had everything, in the city that we arrived at
Yes, we abandoned our hometown to follow our big dreams, we lived smiling about that
We dreamed that we were going to chase the future together, without anything changing from this point on

Yes, the two of us were always one, around here we never lose, isn't that right?
Yes, we've been attracted by this city since the old days, we lived believing in it
Why is it that I hold onto the scenery I remembered, which is the beautiful sky on the day that I left it

This is so true. I feel it. But I just am not one who would tell her feelings out to another just so easily. I would rather write it down. *sighs*

Anyone has any suggestions to help?

Well, I gotta go. I'll see you guys around! By the way, this above song is the only playing on my blog right now. =)

*ja ne*
Leah-chan

Profile

Name: Leah-chan

Schooling In: Nanyang Polytechnic

Course: Multimedia & Infocommunications Technology, School of Information Technology

Birthday: 21st December 1990

CCAs: Foreign Bodies, Voice Ensemble

Colour: Black, White, Red, Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, etc ^_^

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Singing, Acting, Dancing, Fashion

Music Influences: EVERYTHING but at the moment, JROCK/JPOP

I'm bi-polar i think.

One day, I'm happy and the next, I'm totally different.

Yahoo!: sweet_leah90@yahoo.com.sg

MSN: night_riot@hotmail.com

Livejournal: night-riot.livejournal.com

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I love music. It is my whole life. I can't survive with it.
I hope to be able to play the drums or guitar (electric) [that's once i have enough money to buy one].

I'm currently into Japanese music, and I love mixing their fashion with my own taste! ^_^

My new love is dancing, alongside singing, acting, writing romance fiction and creating fashion styles.
It allows me to express myself when I can't.
It relieves me from my stress.
Overall, I love dancing - I just need to get a confidence for it.

Hanging out with friends is another plus in my life. Friends, to me, equals to loyalty and honesty.

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karen deviantART photobucket blogskins Melissa Haslam Joanne